Open Minded
by JacobsBeyondSortOfBeautiful
Summary: The love triangle between Leah, Sam, and Emily is affecting the entire pack. Jacob tells how everyone feels about it. One-shot.


We all keep our mouths shut. We act as if we never saw the memories as if they belonged to us, never felt the passion as if it came from inside us. It is not our business; so we keep our mouths shut.

We all love Emily like family. We feel bad for her sometimes but, the ties that bind us in loyalty to our brother and sister are strong enough to allow us to forget that every night. It's every fucking night. When we phase we're almost always greeted by the passion, the pleasure, the pain of it all.

And the tension between us all heightens. We do not want to share these memories. My pack brothers do not want to know the warmth of her skin, the taste of her tongue, the heavenly sounds she makes when you touch her most private parts. Her real brother is haunted in his every waking moment as he is forced to live through it too. He hates it; but he loves her and will choose to die before he has to see her unhappy again. And if this is what makes her happy, then he has to keep his mouth shut.

None of us have ever experienced what it's like to love more than one girl, but we know exactly how it feels. We know how it feels to be forced into a love you never asked for. To be forced down into a lifelong commitment to the girl you never planned to be with. To hate her with the same whole heart that is used to love her just as fiercely. To despise her for making you cause another's pain. To be disgusted with yourself because you know deep down it wasn't her fault; she never asked for any of this. To be torn between the girl you wanted to love and the girl you had no choice in loving. You can't blame anybody, not even yourself. So you keep your mouth shut.

We've never had to deal with the pain of heartbreak. But we know how it _feels_. We understand what it's like to be left with nothing. To learn how to live without those you loved most. To begin to forget about them, almost heal; but then like a yoyo to be forcefully snatched back into the pain of it all. Into a life where you are reminded each minute of the fact that they chose each other over you. That you meant so little to the both of them and they could find happiness in a world without you. To know that the love of your life decided one day they couldn't love you anymore; to know that they loved someone else instead. To know that the other person was your family: your cousin. You have no choice but to stand by and have it thrown in your face, shoved down your throat; but the most important fact is you know no one cares enough to hear you out. So you've got to keep your mouth shut.

He keeps three keys. One for his car, his home, and his sanctuary; the only place he is truly free. He is free of the ties that bind, free of the imposing thoughts that come from his brothers, he is free to love her in every way possible. Free to hold her close and feel every inch of her. Free to do whatever he can to make up for the pain he caused. He will do anything to make it go away. Anything so that she knows he still cares. He will always care. He is free to do what he wants to her, but most importantly he is free to give her all that she needs. They both know he can't stay long. He has a wife to get home to. He leaves earlier these days because Emily has been asking questions and he's running out of lies to tell. He takes advantage of every minute they have together, making sure he's the reason she smiles all night, he's the reason she screams in the heat of passion, he is the reason she is brought back to life. The moments are short lived. If he wants to live them again tomorrow he must live this complicated mess of a life. He's got to keep his mouth shut.

He never stays long enough. When he kisses her, it's not enough. When he touches her, they are never close enough. When he takes her to nirvana she feels she comes back down far too soon. When he leaves her bed she feels that stab of loneliness and takes herself back to that night where he told her he no longer belonged to her. She grows fearfully that this was their last time. But he promises, vows, that he will be back again tomorrow as the sky turns to shadow. He will be back. And if she wants him to come back, if only for one moment, she'd better keep her mouth shut.

Emily is not a fool. She smells their love on him every single night. He climbs into bed without the decency to even shower before getting close to her. He comes home, takes his clothes off, pulls the sheets back, and lays with his back to her. She knows where he has been. She knows where he will be tomorrow night and it makes her sick. But really, can she deny them the happiness she stole from them years ago? Can she bring herself to take her cousin's entire world away? Again. Can she be the one to deny Sam the love he always wanted? Again. She doesn't want to hurt them anymore. In a way, she feels like she's paying them back for everything she stole, everything she took away. She can't do it again. She can't hurt them anymore. So she will keep her mouth shut.

I have loved her for what seems like a lifetime. We've shared the most hidden parts of ourselves with one another, comforted one another, I thought we were falling for one another; but that wasn't the case for her. It will always be Sam. And I can respect that. I could never make her as happy as he does. I can't give her all that she finds in him. I can't object because I know he loves her. I feel that he loves her. It's a love that is beyond me and it's something I can't stay in the way of. If I tried to it would break her heart all over. As much as I want her to be mine I could never be the one to take away her happiness. So for her sake, I'll act as if I never saw the memories that I wish were mine, never felt the passion I have wanted to give her for years. For the sake of her contentment, her peace of mind; I will keep my mouth shut.


End file.
